I tried so hard! Oh, how hard I tried! What a fool! What was wrong with me? I was born sixty years ago. Some writers were still alive. But the movies, movies were there already! I was blind, I didn't see what they were about -- shame, shame on me! ...
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Godot'06 *
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2009 cine101.com
Believe or not, there is some narrative order in my books. The POV is to follow Self and ... 
next: TECH  Theory of Spectatorship aDiary + Film-North Album (new) How do I write? I guess. Or I try at least. How to "read" POV? You navigate it! I am still hadn't arranged the files according to Vertical Compositions: you have to break files in smaller texts and spend a lot time linking everything. Result? You, reader, can read "differnt" books: almost as if you compile the pages from the search engine on one or another theme! Dex, sex, etc. Next step would be give you, reader and viewer, more co-authorship by letting you decide the layout, graphics, sound... Here is a fundamental principle in question -- does reader-spectator prefer to be passive and himself in that world of the Other. Or, introducing the Game & Play principles, let him play with the blocks of elements? I don't know the answer. This manuscript has another life as a play (in Russian) @ plays.vtheatre.net (new too -- see the flash banner).
SummaryWhat can I do? I try to take out everything what could be taught and place it on my "class" pages. Definitions, but without references to theology, of course. Too bad. The students would understand better the nature of film, I can use the very old terminology, but who knows and remembers it now?QuestionsWhat belongs and doesn't belong to POV Files?NotesFilm Analysis class pages got a new directory Film600: Bad Theory & Wrong Subjects, but I do not refer to it, because I still don't know the forms of writing about this filmic discource.fool.vtheatre.net [ru] cinetext is a bilingual internet forum for film and philosophy located at the University of Vienna (Austria) addressing students, researchers, scholars, and anyone with an interest in the thoughtful exploration of cinema, film, and television.  Bad Subjects, Wrong Theories
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"Cinema is not to be confused with the other arts, which aim rather at an unreality through the world; cinema transforms the world itself into unreality or story: with cinema, the world becomes its own image, and not an image which becomes world." Gilles Deleuze, Cinema 1: L'lmage-Mouvement, Chapter 42007 webshow
From Utopia It was easy at first. I saw it. I saw this book.
No, I was taking my notes and then I saw it.
I thought, here, here -- now I can explain it. Now I will understand...
The more I wrote, the more shapeless it became.
Every time I touched it, it became messy. And I put it away. Yes, for many years. I thought that somehow when I see these texts again, it will be different....
You see, they say that a writer shouldn't touch what he doesn't know. Well, this is the only subject I want to talk about -- the things I do not know.
I understand that if I myself can't understand my writing, who could? That much I do understand, but I doesn't change my attitude. I do not want to understand what I write, I want you to do it.
It is not if I do not understand anything I write, I don't understand the most important things. Why do I write, for example?
It's difficult for me to start; you can see in all my books "Intro" and Preface -- and now Prologue. I myself wonder, why do I need such a prolonged period of introduction? My answer is that I have to reintroduce myself (I'm different in every book) and I have to introduce the subject -- and now I have to introduce the characters and the story.
If you haven't read my other manuscripts, you might be confused with the many voices of the hypertexts, but I want you to remember that you are reading non-fiction. I do not want you to think that Lucifer is a literary device. If you do not know that spirits do exist, you and me have real problem, my friend. Let me explain myself.
There are a lot a confusions in the culture of people and I understand it. You go to the library and see thousands of books and it's hard for you to realize that there are books and there are great books that have lives of their own. You can remove such a book from the library, but it continues its existance. I know it by experience. They took the Bible from all Soviet libraries, but the Big Book lived. Why? Because its only looks like other books, but in fact it's a spirit. The great thoughts or strong feelings are spirits. You think that the fear that you feel is an "emotion" -- that is what you were told -- but think for a moment. You know that I have it too, that it was here before us and will here after. It has its continuity, stability, so many forms and shapes -- why do you consider it less definite than you? I do not know you and by all practical accounts you do not exist for me, until we meet. But the fear in you, I know it even before we have a chance to meet. Without those spirits, how would you be able to understand me now?
Let me point out that our meeting right now takes place in this special place. Where is it? In you, in me, in between, in somebody else? You read it, you understand, you feel.... If you are interested in this subject, read the Event Theory in my theatre books; this is not what I want to talk with you about. I want you to accept him, it's about time. I want you to know him and be patient; it took some time for me too to see him. Lucifer is real, my friends. No less real than you and me.
Maybe on our second, if not the meeting, he took a marker and circled the date on the calendar, the day I had to finish the book.
"What about this day?"
"I can't tell you," he said. "Don't ask why. Why do you need to know everything, Anatoly? You need to know what you need to know."
"Sorry, you are right," I said.
"Just do it."
"What if I won't make it. It's writing, you know."
"You have to trust me. It's not about you, but me. I have to have this book before the fist daylight on the first."
He said as if he was sentensed. The date? Does it really matter what date? Just a deadline.
"I don't know if I can make it..."
"You have to know something about the ways out there, if you plan to stay there. Eternity is a very strick place; when time is a space, every second is measured and is the dealine. Thta's why time is mercyless, it passes no matter what. You, mortals, have no idea about its real dictatorship. You're blessed, you can waste your time. I can't, if I am not on time, I am gone. To live in time without space is a brutal experience. You know, like with your heart or your brain, you can't stop, let say, for an hour. It's death. That's how it's here. That's the reason why I move so fast. I have to."
@2000-2003 film-north *
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* 2008 -- ...
projects: film600 texts: ... semio in focus: Tarkovsky, film as philosophy reading: Film Art (textbook) |
2008 -- 2009 and After
©2004 filmplus.org *
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2005-2006 Theatre UAF Season: Four Farces + One Funeral & Godot'06
Film-North * Anatoly Antohin
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