NEW: intro and title are the pages to "form" the narrative. Or THEMES, at least.
How? notes for myself. How much help can I get from myself?
I thought about the whole -- I am making PS pages, to see the end of it. Always.
I hoped that apparatus (appendix, links, and so on) will work by itself. Maybe the structure of my web-directories is working. Maybe. I do not know.
How my 2007-2008 blogs are connected with my diaries --
... Oh, this is my big question/problem!
[ 0 ] [ title ] [ intro ]
When you see my new diary webpages, it means that I can't write.
I try to paint. Once, over twenty years ago it helped me to recover. This is my second Resurrection Cycle: Woman.
I don't know where to put my notes, thoughts on the new paintings. I write over the sketches.
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The books I read: see "biblio" pages!
SummaryI like the very idea of "diary": I don't have to "write" -- only to record.
QuestionsI don't ask myself hard questions -- and this is no way to keep diary. Or the only way - not to question your reflections?
NotesThe "mirror" -- the diary. I don't look at myself anymore. Sometimes I "notice" myself in the mirror. This is the moment I try to avoid.
If I am wrong, I will die with my (grave) mistake (web).
I keep trying the diary writing, because I need to help myself. I try....
Nothing works for me. I keep working, keep pushing. Nothing. For years. Maybe from the outside it looks different, but do we care how it feels from the outside?
I can't even write anymore; this thought makes me old and sick. I am becoming somebody I wouldn't like to know.
Maybe it's age. I am getting sick too often. I am arritated at small things. I don't know the source of the changes.
I suspect the time at the computer. But how else I can fight the time, passing by without a trace?
Diary has very practical (and not only self-therapy) purpose: this is self-organization. Sort of meeting with yourself. I need and the talk and the "mutual" decisions. When I lost my wife, I lost a confidant. The multiple loses in one...
And this is the change; I better help myself, because the changes will take place in me, do I like it or not. I better welcome it, instead of suppressing and rejecting the new.
Diary * diary.ru * Personal Politics * Film-North * Mailing List & News -- subscribe yourself * In Russian: Russian Play * 2002-2007
keys.txt : bloglines.com/blog/anatolant & new domains : teatr.us + u21.us [ Utopia Project ]