2009 : |
... diary.vtheatre.net [ru] + filmplus.org/aDiary [en]
[ video & flickr ]
... Future is a dream : Dreams = absent of present, the place where past talks with eternity.
1/3 of my life was sleeping. 20 years out of 60! Why so much?
This fact tortures me whole life.
Дочь, как носительница Св. Духа, должна заменить жену.
In the last book everything could be considered a dream-play, because it goes beyond remembering of recollection, it's the blood's memory. I might say -- visions.
Most likely the biggest of the six; it already has the parts (books).
Prologue is the time that I forgot: from birth to boyhood.
Part One -- from my birth to the conception. All stages.
Part Two -- conception.
Part Three -- the Idea of God
I have no idea how long I am about to work on this manuscript.
Bad Theories, Wrong Subjects View
SummaryDreams? Peace. No news. No life. This is where I go. Writing....
QuestionsShould I move all "dreams" to POV pages?
NotesWEB [ new chapter 2007 ]
2004 & After
Dreams have no news, only discoveries. Revelations, new in old and familiar. Dreams are never boring. Because they are "emotional" -- dreams know no difference between feeling and thought.
[ Dream Book ]
"Dreams" [in russian] Winter Fool 2
Diary of a Webman : web.vtheatre.net
... collective sub-C : American and Neo-RU [kino]
... Two conflicting tasks: I want each book to have its own identity and at the same time I want it to have the same DNA, the other books' elements. Dreams is one of those features.4.15.04. The foundation of nightmares is the "no-escape" feeling -- how different is it from the thought about life, living and death? Eternity is the ultimate "no exit" situation. Eternal existence (God) -- what an unhuman position to be! Again, the Film600 pages, learn the non-human feelings. Learn to experience thought as feeling, to feel ideas (Nietzsche life style).
I have no time to remember and to write them down.
In order for child to grow so fast, it must be always hungry. My "hungry" dreams. Fetus knows no thought -- that I was learning that no-words language.
The Language of Angels is POV, there is another step -- the language of touch and taste (a little bit is SELF). Feelings of trees and "thoughts" of a stone. Beyond dreams.
Everything is alive. There is no absolute vacuum, you know. Hot and cold. Always changes, events, reactions.
We do not remember dreams. Most of them we don't. Because we afraid to face the truth. I understand it, I can relate to this fact of denial. We wake up not because we rested enough, but because we want back to the world where our mind can control our feelings. Well, this is where the problem of paradise lies -- how can we be free all the time? How can we let ourselves to express our fears and desires without hesitation? Like children? Paradise knows no sin; but about my dark thoughts, my bad desires? Pay attention next time, when you sleep and see dreams -- they are primitive, brutal, vulgar. That is why we see nightmares and wake up trembling. "Fear and Trembling"? Oh, yes, we have to be afraid of our own selves. We are afraid of others only because we know ourselves, we know what kind of monsters are inside, what demons are hidden... until we fall asleep. Dreams are the freedom of honesty.
I see. You still do not understand what separates us from the rest of the universe. You still do not understand what does it mean to be humans. You still believe our lies about ourselves...
Think about it, eight hours a day? One third of our life we are asleep? Yes, the truth zone.
Tell me your dreams and I'll tell you who you are... No, you don't need me or anybody. Remember your dreams and you'll know who you are.
Not that simple, my man. We have the new remedy against the truth -- the movies! Let me see somebody else dreams, something which looks like dreams, something I can suppress my real dreams with! The horror movies, the adult tales, the substitute fantasies... And then I will have no time for my feelings, when I am asleep. Oh, what a wonderful medicine against being ourselves! What an invention! What did you see last night? Oh, you saw the same dream? Oh, the whole country saw the same dream! Miracle! What was it? Die Hard? Die tomorrow? When we all see the same dreams, we are fine, we are safe -- because it's fake dreams! We made it up, stupid! It's just a movie! Yes, of course, it's not real!
Did you read POV already? You should. Perhaps you will understand how we fight the future, how we do not want to be there, how much we hate the truth... And you thought that war on terror is about some Muslim fanatics. Think again. Read Film600 files. and come back to Tech pages later, when you are ready to face yourself.
Wait! Think about what I said -- and sleep it over. Think about it! Think about this great gift we got! Oh, please, read the pages about death and think about the sweet introduction to it our dreams give us... How soft and gentle death is with us, prince. There are no such thing as bad dreams, they all are good. There are no bad weather, not anymore, not in 2002. There are no bad flowers, no bad days... Night is tender, you know. It always there when you need it. Sleep, sleep, my baby...
Dream Page in POV and other "dreams pages"...
While I was asleep: What to do when nobody needs you
... do I have time for dreams now?
@2009 -- 2005-2006 Theatre UAF Season: Four Farces + One Funeral & Godot'06
©Film-North * Anatoly.
@anatoly.org : u21.us biz.vtheatre.net (for now?)
3000 -- how about it, my daydreaming? And -- dreams.vtheatre.net!
But p2009, Project Dreams, first! I call it "Project Utopia"! Nothing but dreaming...
I am ready to die. Almost.