THE STROKE

MARY, MARIA, or MARINA
DAVID Z

Husband and wife, both are around forty, they came from Russia over fifteen years ago. Or maybe not.

Queens, New York, one bedroom apartment, nineties, summer Friday morning. Everything is in boxes. Wall closet. TV. Telephone. Bathroom door, front door. Bedroom somewhere left and kitchen on the right. The sound of planes landing and taking off.

THE STROKE (outline)
1 m, 1 f, living room, Queens, present
After a stroke and a coma David forgot his immigration from Russia, life in New York and took the identity of his wife, thinking that she is his sister and they are still in Moscow. Four years later his wife Maria is leaving him, committing David to a mental institution. To stop her David is agreed to play David. Two hours later he discovered that she wasn't his wife but the nurse from the hospital. [Till he discovers that it all was in his mind. . . . before the stroke.]

1. THE ELEVENTH HOUR. PACKING
David comes to the bathroom door.

DAVID (whispers) I know you're there. You don't have to answer. I know you can hear me. I heard you when you came in. Keep quiet. It's between me and her.

(The sound of a plane. Very loud. David screams.)

Again? How could they do it? This is not right, not normal! Stop it! Right now! Everything is taken, even the skies! I'm still alive! I'm here. Look! I'm standing right here!

(He stops before the sound of the plane is over. Leaves the room.)

DAVID'S VOICE Are you there? (Nobody answers.) I need you! Answer me! You have to! Please! Please!

MARIA'S VOICE Yes, I'm here.

DAVID'S VOICE I thought you were gone. I imagined it for a moment. Left without a word. Are you there. . . . in this room? (She doesn't answer.) Just say "yes" or something.

MARIA'S VOICE Yes, I'm in my room.

DAVID'S VOICE Good. I feel better. I just wanted to know that you are still here. Are you leaving?

MARIA'S VOICE Yes. You know it.

(DAVID, in a wheelchair, rolls into the living room.)

DAVID Marina? Where's it? (He is moving, checking the boxes.) I can't find the damn thing. Did you pack it? I asked you not to touch my stuff, I told you, I'm not going anywhere. (Pause.) Marina, why don't you answer me?

MARIA (enters from the bedroom) They will be here in an hour.

DAVID I'm staying. Give me my book. . . .

MARIA Now what?

DAVID You got dressed.

MARIA Did you hear what I said?

DAVID And my glasses. . . .

MARIA Stop pretending that you don't understand!

DAVID I need the book.

MARIA No, you don't.

DAVID I need to write, to read things. . . .

MARIA Which book?

DAVID The one which starts with "I was born". . . . Wait a minute. This is wrong. I shouldn't say "I". . . . Something was born which later became me. No, it's not correct. Why did I say "was"? I was born many times. . . .

MARIA You don't believe me. You think it's just a talk. . . .

DAVID I have to think more about it. I'm not sure I can use the word "born". . . .

MARIA Did you take your pills today? I don't care do you take your medication or not. Why should I?

DAVID I said "I was born" -- "I," that's my problem. Well, you can say the same. When anybody is born the "I" is the same. I could be you. I could be anybody. . . .

MARIA I wasn't joking, you know.

DAVID You have to understand, even such a statement as "I was" is a false sentence. I am, "I" is always in the present. How could "I" be in the past tense? Yes, I know that I was before, but this is crazy. "Me-before" is dead. I can't go back. (She brings the pills.) How many "me-before" are dead? All of them. What am I supposed to do now? I can't say anything. Marina. . . .

MARIA I'm not Marina.

DAVID All right, don't start it, please. . . .

MARIA Marina was your sister. She is dead.

DAVID I said, I'm sorry. . . .

MARIA I'm Maria, your wife.

DAVID You see, you do it again. I don't want to argue with you. I don't have time. I understand you and I want you to give him my book. That's all. I believe you and I want you to do it for me. Yes, I had accepted it. . . . When you'll see him, give my manuscript to him. That's what I wanted to ask you. He'll understand everything. In New York, when you'd arrive to New York. . . .

MARIA I won't see him in New York. We are in New York.

DAVID Look, I'm trying! I'm trying so hard. Why do you need to twist my brains? You want to be called Maria? Fine. But you push it, you make me feel like I'm crazy. You decided to leave me, fine. Why do you need to hurt me, why?

MARIA David, look at me! They would take you away for good. They would take you over there, and I would leave this place. I tried, too. I had tried very hard and for very long, David.

DAVID Here you again! Why can't you be reasonable? Why do you have to call me his name? I asked you not to call me "David." Why do you have to do it again and again? He is in New York. He left me fifteen years ago. You know everything and you can't accept it. We talked about it, we discussed it many times. It's in the book, you read the book. . . .

MARIA All right, all right. Lets just leave it.

DAVID No, I don't want you to please me, I want you to understand. You have to face the reality. He left, Marina. Long time ago. I accepted it because I understood that it was right thing to do. For him, for all of us. I understand why you want to leave Russia. Believe me, I understand. But I can't go to America. You have to understand my reasons, too. Sorry, I'm still using this world "I."

MARIA Yes, I understand. I remember.

DAVID Here, in Moscow, even now, when everything is in English. I'm still in my country. Yes, I look at the sky, the same skies I have been seeing all my life -- I'm home. Only the planes are the problems. And more. (whispers) You know, I feel that if I would leave Moscow, Russia would die.

(MARIA leaves the room.)

DAVID (screams) I know, Russia would live till I am in Russia. There's an invisible bond between us. I feel it. I have to stay here no matter what.

(MARIA comes back.)

DAVID I don't judge others, but Russia needs every live soul. . ..

MARIA Fuck your Russia.

(DAVID rolls out, and comes back.)

DAVID You didn't mean it.

MARIA Damn it. (She gives him a big folder, "the book.")

DAVID Thank you. Many feel this way. Too many. . . .

MARIA How the hell do you know? You don't go anywhere, you don't see anybody! How could you keep Russia alive? As far as Russia is concerned you are dead.

DAVID It doesn't matter. It's not about me. Don't you understand that if I would leave Russia, it would be like a verdict? As if I'd say -- die! I know what you're thinking. I thought about it, too. Believe me. I thought about it a lot. Yes, yes, think, how come he left? (Pause) I have to say it. (Pause) He wasn't Russian! I never told you before -- David was a Jew. We never talked with him about this, but he was Jewish. He wasn't a real Russian.

MARIA What? Who is this real Russian?

DAVID I don't want to provoke you, you are his sister, you could take it wrong. . . .

MARIA I'm not his sister! I'm not Jew. I'm nobody's sister!

DAVID Please, listen. You're in denial. He was too. He always thought of himself as Russian. One could be a Russian by culture, even to be a Russian writer, but a Jew is a Jew. I know it's sounds very anti-Semitic, I have my right to say it -- I love him. I'll always love him, but I have to accept the fact that he was a Jew. That why he didn't like Jews. It's very Jewish. Like Russians don't like Russians. . . .

(MARIA screaming, stops.)

DAVID It's okay. (Pause.) Your scream. It was real.

MARIA I'm losing my mind when you go into this spin.

DAVID I'm sorry. (Writes in his book.) I record everything, so I won't forget.

MARIA Sorry, I lost it.

DAVID I feel the same, but I had to say it, so you would understand why I can't leave Russia.

MARIA I understand why in your mind you need to be in Russia. It's understandable.

DAVID Thank you. Maybe, it's my weakness. But I need some stability, I know, my mind is weak, I don't remember things, and I need some sense of continuity. You see? (Gives her the book.)

MARIA I'm sorry. I know. (Reads.) "I breathe, I see things, I hear." What is that? Do you have to remember to hear?

DAVID (takes away the book) You go. It's time for you to go. Enough. I know that you love David. Yes, you do, and you always did. Listen, it was fifteen years ago. I'm over with it now. I should have stepped out then, I saw that two of you were in love. But I wanted him for myself -- and I ruined everything. His life, yours, mine. No wonder he left me. I don't want to lie. He left me, not Russia. You know, he left Russia because of me. That was his way to break with me. And he never wrote a single letter ever since. As if he died. Sometimes I think he died over there, in New York.

MARIA Why do you think he is in New York?

DAVID Because I know. Come closer. All right, I'd tell you -- I have his phone number.

MARIA His number?

DAVID Yes, I have it and when you would get to New York, you call him. Don't talk about me. I know he would ask you about me, but you have to promise me, please, tell him that I am dead. Died long ago. Fifteen years ago. In a car accident. . . . (She cries) Marina. . . . What's the matter? Please, I don't want you to cry. It's better this way. Look, if I am dead, the two of you could be together. I want you to be together, to be happy. You promise me, you won't write to me. Promise?

MARIA I promise. I won't.

DAVID Good. And I will not write or call you. I know it won't be easy, but I promised myself -- I won't. I will forget this number. Here it is, the number. (Gives her a piece of paper.)

MARIA (takes a small piece of paper) This is our number. Do you see, right here, on our phone, can't you see it?

DAVID Exactly! I couldn't believe it at first -- such a coincidence! Yeah, this is quite something, you know. The same number.

MARIA Quite something.

DAVID Now you understand, I know. Make a call -- if a woman answers, or a child -- he's married. I didn't want to call because I was afraid that he could answer. . . . But this is nonsense, he knows that you are coming.

MARIA How do you know that it is his number?

DAVID Don't ask me that. It doesn't matter. I know it's his. (Whispers) I called this number.

MARIA Oh God! Please!

DAVID I didn't want to upset you. I didn't want you to know.

MARIA No, no, no, no, no!

DAVID What? What are you saying?

MARIA No! No! No!

DAVID You don't believe me. I understand. And I don't want to lie to you. You're right; I didn't speak with him, I hung up. But he is there, this is his real number. It's always busy. That's why I know for sure that he is all right. And there's no woman there. I tried several times. I was afraid that he got married. You know, he likes women. We both know that. Anyway, he is waiting for you. He is alone. He's single, he has no family. Trust me, I know it. Sometimes I see him as if I'm there, in New York. But dreams are so tricky, suddenly it seems to me that he has a family. Married to an American girl, a blond one, speaks English with her, and they have two children -- a boy and a girl. I shouldn't tell this to you. . . . He loves you. He always loved you. Not me. And that's the problem with David. Yes, it's my problem. Not yours. You go now, please, you better go. And this time it's final. I'm glad that you're going to the States, far faraway. Now you won't come back. You have to have your own life, your family, your happiness. You can't take care of me, nobody can. You go, go. (Pause.) Was it a doorbell?

MARIA I won't be back this time.

DAVID(He gets closer to Maria.) I have to tell you something. Please, listen. I understand it was difficult to cross the line. But, look, I don't care about this incest stuff. Brother and sister? So what? That's what I read in my book. I understand it, because it was me who wrote it. If you meant to be together, you have to do it. I know that you resent him because he left me after the accident and you have been taking care of me all those years. But enough is enough. (Pause.) The door. . . .

MARIA No, not yet.

DAVID I thought I heard some voices. . . .

(The sound of a landing plane.)

MARIA Sorry, I have to do the packing. (She walks out.)

DAVID Wait. When is your flight? Show me your plane ticket to America. I want to see it.

MARIA (from the lobby) I have no ticket.

DAVID Okay, we won't fight. Its' not that important. You'll have another, different life, where everything would be good. Sometimes I feel that I too want to be in New York, sometimes it seems to me that I know everything there, every street, every corner. I see him walking toward me, smiling, and the whole life is ahead of us. . . . (He moves to the bathroom door.) Could you do me a favor? I don't want you to see it. You go first. I don't want you to be around when they come. They have to take me anyway, but you have to leave first. Okay?

MARIA (comes back) I have to be here, I have to sign the papers.

DAVID It will be difficult for you. Please, just go.

MARIA Oh, you understand it? How come you can't understand the rest?

DAVID What do you want me to understand?

MARIA That you're not a woman!

DAVID I don't want to talk about it. Somebody has to pay for this, for the pain, for the torture, for all the nonsense, for the vulgarity. . . .

2. THE MIRROR

(She opens the closet door with the mirror inside.)

MARIA This is the last time I try.

DAVID Why do you have to do it again? I don't want to see it. You can't do it today. You can't do it on my birthday. . . .

MARIA Your birthday is in December.

DAVID I know when my birthday is. We have many. One of mine is today. . . .

MARIA Happy birthday.

DAVID Thank you.

MARIA You're welcome.

(Pause.)

DAVID I feel myself different today. (She doesn't answer, looking at herself in the mirror.)

I feel something would happened today. I think I remember something. . . .

MARIA Come here.

DAVID Why? I know what is there. . . .

MARIA You have to. (She brings him to the mirror.) You see? Look at yourself. Just take a look.

DAVID I'm not looking. I don't see anything. I don't want to. . .. I don't need to see my face. It's disgusting, it's ugly. I look like a man.

MARIA You are a man.

DAVID It doesn't prove anything. It doesn't matter. . . .

MARIA This is you.

(Pause.)

DAVID I look like him. Because I think so much about him, I almost became him. This is sick. You don't have to point it out for me. I know, I'm sick.

MARIA You are him. You are David.

DAVID You don't know what you're talking about. I'm nobody, nothing. Look at me! (He touches the mirror.) I'm a monster. I'm not a woman or a man anymore. Because I let him live in me. It changed my body, my mind. I have both in me. . . . I'm a hermaphrodite. Only now I understand what it means to be a woman. Yes, outside I'm a man. But I'm not. I'm both. I don't need anybody. I'm happy. Like a child. . . .

MARIA Look at me! (Slaps him on the face.) Look!

DAVID When you have both sexes in you, you're supposed to be happy. You're complete. . . .

MARIA Look at my body! I'm a woman. You're a man.

DAVID I understand why you're saying it. It looks like you're right. But you know the truth. And I'm not that crazy. I'm not running around screaming that I'm a woman. Or a man. I'm not getting out at all. Besides, all this is irrelevant. I'm an individual, not only a writer, like him, but a human being. Writers are by definition sexless, like angels. I'm an Utopian being. I was born in the USSR. I know that for sure. Now, follow me, please. The Soviet Union was supposed to be a paradise, like America. But in Paradise you can't be born. I can read you from another book, not mine, well, in paradise there are only souls. You are not listening. . . .

MARIA What do you know about being a woman? You have to be a girl, go through all the changes of your body, through hopes and dreams. (She does to the refrigerator, gets herself a shot of vodka.) David, you were a good lover. . . .

DAVID I can't be a man. . . . Wait, I remember something. . ..

MARIA You didn't shave today. (She leaves.)

I remember my dreams. . . . Wait!

MARIA What?

DAVID (points at the closet door) A shadow. Do you see it? Over there!

MARIA Yes, this is your shadow.

DAVID Strange. (Opens his book.) I have to write it down before I forget. It's important.

MARIA You said, you remember. What dreams do you remember?

DAVID The dreams I had before. Before the stroke. I know I saw them before. I recognize them. . . . Maybe, I had no stroke.

MARIA Maybe. (Pause.)

DAVID I remember a river. And a small boat full of water. And the cucumbers floating like dead fish.

MARIA That's all?

DAVID Well, some other pictures too.

MARIA Do you remember making love to me?

DAVID No, why should I? I'm not a lesbian.

MARIA Do you remember my body? You remember the boat. Your hands should remember me.

DAVID Could I have my pills, please.

MARIA No, you answer me. You remember, I know that you do. I understand you don't want to remember the past. It's too painful, too much to deal with. I could live with you not remembering your past but not with the reversal. Please, David, please, I have the same problems. I don't know how to relate to my parents, to myself, but I remember you. I can't forget it and I don't want to. That's how I know who I am. Because I remember you. I remember you kissing me and your eyes when you could see me. Your hands. . . . David!

DAVID I don't remember! How would I know? Maybe, it's his dreams. I would never know it. . . . Maybe, it's good, not to know. Who wants to remember his dreams. My hopes. My youth. Mine or his? What difference does it make how to call it. It's in me. I see it. I'm walking over the bridge and seeing the tour boat on the Moscow-River. I felt that the whole life is ahead and tomorrow is waiting for me to enter. Like a woman who looks at you and asks you to enter her life. And what did I get? What am I? I'm dead. You should let me die there in the hospital. I died there. Why didn't you let me be dead?

MARIA You said "woman". . . .

DAVID It's better not to remember. . . .

MARIA You said "like a woman who looks at you". . . .

DAVID It's just a dream. His dream. . . .

MARIA It must be nice to be crazy. Or to be dead. Don't say anything. You're right. You have cornered yourself, you would never get out of it, because you don't understand it. (She closes the closet.) Goodbye, David. . . .

DAVID You see! You're talking to him! He is always on your mind! It's you, not me, who's doing it!

MARIA I'm talking to you!

DAVID You said "David"!

MARIA Yes, I did. . . . I wouldn't visit you, David.

(Pause and the sound of a landing plane.)

DAVID (screams) It's them! I can see it! All of them! I see it! You have your sex at work. With your male colleagues. (The sound is gone and he is quiet.) It's okay. I know. . . .

MARIA Do you want to know how we do it?

DAVID No! (Pause.) And you did it with him!

MARIA Oh, forget it!

DAVID You did!

MARIA Yes, I did! We slept together! You're a madman! You're jealous of yourself! You, my husband who thinks he is me, his wife, and I'm his sister! God help me! Please! Somebody help me! Please, please, please!

DAVID I'm sorry. (Moves to the bathroom.)

MARIA Where should I go? I don't want to remember it! Please! Please!

DAVID (closes the door) Excuse me. (From behind the door.) I have to accept it. I don't remember myself before, but I remember the feeling. I think, I remember it since I was born. The same way I feel now....

(They continue to speak at the same time.)

3. BATHROOM

MARIA (starts packing again) No, I don't want to remember, I don't care. I would remember nothing! Do you hear me! I'm gone. I'm not here. (Comes to the bathroom door.) Open the door. I asked you not to lock the door. David! Answer me! David! Don't do it! David!.... I can't stay here if you would do it again. I know you're listening. (Pause.) Fine.

(She goes to the door, opens and slams it. Silence. She goes back to the bathroom door, listens.)

MARIA David, I'm leaving. David? I'm dead serious. I'm leaving my keys on the table. Good bye, David. (She sits on the box next to the bathroom door).

DAVID (opens the door) Please, go. I can't do it when you are here. It's not a show. I'm dead serious too. I can't go there. You go -- and I too would go.

MARIA No. What were you doing there?

DAVID Nothing. Thinking. Looking at myself in the mirror. I think I'm crazy. Every time I see myself in the mirror I see him.

MARIA You lie. I know what you're thinking about.

DAVID We have to end this. We have to. . . .

MARIA No, you listen! I have enough guilt trips. Don't put this one on me.

(She exits the front door. The bathroom door opens. David has a plastic bag over his head. He is in agony. MARIA opens the front door, runs, and takes the bag off.)

MARIA David! No! David?

DAVID Why?

MARIA Please. . . .

DAVID You promised. . . .

MARIA David. . . .

DAVID Go away. Please.

MARIA Forgive me. . . .

DAVID Don't say anything. Go.

MARIA No.

DAVID I would do it. You know that I would do it.

MARIA That's why I'm still here.

DAVID I have to kill him. He is in me. Do you understand?

MARIA I understand.

DAVID You don't. (He leaves the room.)

MARIA Damn you! Don't walk on me like this! Say it. Say the damn thing!

DAVID'S VOICE I can't forgive you. You betrayed our trust. You brought in this idiot, the doctor, the fucking psychiatrist. I still can't understand why did you do it? What don't you know about me? Anything you need to know I can tell you. I have no secrets from you. I don't have anybody in this world but you. I love you.

MARIA It makes no difference. Your love, my love, any love. Don't love me. I don't want to be loved. Never.

DAVID (comes back) He asks his stupid questions, as if he understands something. (He takes the pills, throws them on the floor.) His fucking pills, his eyes, his smile. Jesus, what on earth could he possibly know about me? How could you let him trivialize our relations? It was our life, yes, our secrets, our problems. And you let them walk all over me. Do you want me to pretend? Do you want me to play a man, to act "David"? But I won't be myself anymore. Yes, I'm ill, but I'm me. What else do I have? I have no job, no carrier, no friends. Only you and myself. I have to stick to what I'v got. I have nothing, nothing, but us. I knew it was coming. But no, thank you much, I won't go with him. You can't force me. Don't you see it? Doctor! He rapes me every time he comes. He makes me miserable, makes me nobody. I don't want him to look at me. . . .

MARIA What am I supposed to do? I tried everything. For years. Do you understand it? Day after day. Hour after hour. I became a part of your game. You use me to play this game. I know why you do it. Those are your games with yourself. You think that you failed yourself. That you failed me. Your stroke has nothing to do with this madness. You want it this way.

DAVID I love you.

MARIA Maybe, it would be better if you wouldn't.

DAVID Maybe. But I do. (Pause.) That it's too much. . . . What is wrong with you, God? You're so quiet. Are you scared to death? Is my life too much for you to handle? What did you expect? What did you think was going to happen? I'm asking you, answer me!

MARIA You're asking me? Me? The one who sees it all? Me, who is always wrong no matter what I do? And when I do nothing I wrong again. What do you want me to do? At first I play alone, anything, but you being alive. I thought it would go away, but you went on and on, you grew into this, making more and more stories about your past as David's wife. It's me, I'm your wife! How could I listen to you, telling me how you love David, how you lived with him? My mind, my heart, everything in me bursting into pieces, David. It's worse than death. It's as if both of us died.

(David goes to the window, opens it, screams.)

DAVID Listen, you, in the future! Tell everything about us, us, who knew nothing about what was going on with us. You'll have our tapes, our videos, please, look at us and tell what had happened. I beg you, I must know that somebody would understand it. I have to know that somebody would make some sense out of my life. You, creatures of the future, don't look at any other age, look at me. Please, answer my questions. I'm the last who knew that I failed. I'm the only one who failed and knew that I did. You, not the next generation, you, who understood what took place. You, my only hope, the hope of hope. Look at us and forgive me for not knowing myself. I have nothing to give you. Nothing! No, forget us, don't look back. There's nothing you can learn from me. Don't waist your life on us. . . .

4. A DEAL

MARIA Take off this robe! This is my robe, take it off! (Takes it off him.) Get off this stupid wheelchair! Get up! (She pulls him out.) Yes, you'd do what I tell you to do. You are David.

DAVID All right. I'll do what you want. I said I will. (Gets up.)

MARIA You would play your games by my rules. I'm your wife. Maria. You are David. We are in New York. You are a man.

DAVID All right, I'll play your game if you would accept my world. If you would believe me.

MARIA I do.

DAVID I trust you.

MARIA So, you will be "David" if I agree to believe that you are not? If I would agree that you are his wife and I am his sister, who died fifteen years ago?

DAVID Forget it. You don't believe in it. You won't believe it. Never.

(Pause.)

MARIA Would you do it?

DAVID What?

MARIA David. . . .

DAVID You can call me this name. . . .

MARIA Say -- Maria. . . .

DAVID I'd do it. Tell me what to do. . . .

MARIA Call me. Call me by my name. Say it.

DAVID Maria.

MARIA Again.

DAVID Maria, I remember the river, the boat. It was dark, it was summer.

MARIA I love you too, David. I won't answer the door when they come. (Holds him.) Just you and me. Remember, how we wouldn't answer the bell because we were together. We were young and happy. We didn't answer the world. . . .

DAVID And the telephone. It was in Moscow. In our first apartment, It wasn't even our apartment. I remember. The yellow wallpaper with red flowers. And the sound of elevator.

MARIA You see, you remember. I knew it. You remember how we met? Remember? In this apartment, and you asked your friend to leave. It was his birthday. And they all left.

DAVID He understood. He was a friend. I don't remember what's happened with him and why I don't see him anymore.

MARIA He is still in Moscow. He is over there.

DAVID Why doesn't he come, or call us?

MARIA We are in New York, David.

DAVID I don't remember that part.

MARIA I know. You had a stroke. We came to the State and you had a stroke.

DAVID I know about the stroke. I don't remember it but I know that something had happened to me. Like an accident.

MARIA Sometimes I think it was a mistake that we left Russia. Our life would be different if we'd stayed. But you were getting deeper and deeper in trouble with them, I had to go with you. We both thought that it could work for you in America. You tried. We both tried hard. You were too much of a Russian. If you weren't a writer, it could work. But I know that it wouldn't work for you in Russia as well. I don't look back. I don't think about it. There's no more Russia, David. Only America. Everywhere.

DAVID I wanted to live in New York.

MARIA We are living in New York for fifteen years. And you liked it, David. Don't you remember anything about our life here? I can take you out, just for a walk. We can walk a few blocks. It's good outside, it's summer now.

DAVID I know. I like to look at the tree. This old tree across the street. I think it's me.

MARIA We can go to the park. It's right here. The Meadowland.

DAVID What went wrong? Do you know?

MARIA Everything, David. Just about everything. Everything was wrong and it got you. Moscow, New York, everything. If you wouldn't like life so much, I think, you would manage it. But you were in love with everything and everything was wrong.

DAVID But I love you. Was it wrong too?

MARIA No, no, but you didn't like that I have to work. You wanted me to be with you all the time. I liked it. And you couldn't find work. Only for two weeks, or a month at the most. Look at those boxes? You just wrote page after page and I would put it in the box because I didn't know what else I could do with it. When you couldn't talk with me, you would write. It's all like one long letter to me. And then you had this stroke.

DAVID Here, in New York? When did it happen?

MARIA Almost four years ago. It was in August. It was a god day, sunny, not hot. The day before the coup in Russia. In one day everything had changed for us. You were gone. Even after you came back from coma. You didn't recognize me. You remembered nothing. Not even your own name. Or my name. So you never knew that the Soviet Union is no more. And then this horrible twist. You were in a coma for a week. I don't know how, nobody knows, of course, how did it turn this way but you came out of amnesia thinking that you are me. You know that, right?

DAVID Yes. You're my wife.

MARIA Yes, yes, David, thank you. You see, I was waiting. I couldn't believe that we wouldn't get a break. I prayed.

DAVID I didn't know that you believe in God.

MARIA I don't. This is why God's punishing us. Now I do. I'm so happy now. You are with me again. Call me, I want to hear you calling me.

DAVID Yes, I'm with you, I'm David. I'm happy, too. . . .

(He opens the closet, takes the suit, the tie, puts them on, Looks at himself in the mirror.)

A tie?...

MARIA It's okay. It's difficult for you. I'm very patient. God knows, I'm. . . .

DAVID Where are we. . . . I mean, in New York?

MARIA We are in Queens.

DAVID Yes, now I remember, yes. . . .

MARIA Do you remember us before? You and me? (She kisses him.) Remember?

DAVID Yes. . . . I think so. . . .

MARIA Do you remember my body?

DAVID This is so real. You, me, everything.

MARIA Its' real, David.

DAVID I can touch it, feel it. . . .

MARIA David, you are afraid to touch me.

DAVID Yes, the birthmark. On your left shoulder. . . .

MARIA No, this is you. You have this birthmark.

DAVID I'm sorry. Give me some time. I'll try.

MARIA Yes, yes, I'm sorry. It's not easy. David? (Pause.) I remember your body, I remember every minute with you. Please, I want to be with, David. I want to be close with you. Kiss me.

(He kisses her.)

MARIA You don't believe it. Your lips, they're cold. You are not with me.

DAVID This is too quick. . . . I have to forget things.

MARIA To forget? Forget what?

DAVID My past. Yours. That you are his sister. . . . Or my sister. . . . I don't know. . . . All the stuff this doctor taught me.... It's difficult. . . .

MARIA I'm sorry. I won't rush you. Why you are not looking at me?

DAVID What about him?

MARIA Him? Again?

DAVID It would hurt him. . . . Us being together. . . .

MARIA You can't do it, David. You promised!

DAVID You have to understand. . . . my concerns. You promised, too. Why can't you understand me?

MARIA Understand? Who am I talking to now?

DAVID Doesn't matter! Me! Understand me whoever I am! Maybe I don't understand myself, maybe, I don't know who I am, maybe, I'm crazy like hell, maybe, I don't know what I am talking about -- but why can't you understand me? Who else would understand me if I don't understand myself? Maybe, I'm in America, maybe, I'm not even alive, who cares, I want you to understand me! I want you to be with me. . . . Why can't we be together? Why can't you be with me when I'm not together with my own self. Please, please. Where would I go now? I have to love, and I love you. . . .

MARIA You don't! No! I'm not your sister! I am me!

DAVID Are you? How do you know? Teach me how to know what is what? Do it. Teach me to pray. . . .

MARIA I can't. Nobody can. You can't do it, too. . . . I wish I didn't come back the first time I left three years ago. I went out for a walk, that was one of those nights, I had to, and I came back. I'm coming back time after time. Love? That's all what I do. Love? Is this love? You would go on and on telling me, your wife, how I feel about you.

DAVID Maria?

MARIA Yes, David.

DAVID We have to try.

MARIA Thank you. Say it again.

DAVID Maria, what happened to me on the day I had a stroke?

MARIA You don't remember and I don't know. I found you in a hospital. You were in a coma. You were in a coma for many days.

DAVID Who am I? I am not a writer.

MARIA What?

DAVID I'm not a writer.

(Pause.)

MARIA Why do you say it?

DAVID I figured it out. I can't write.

MARIA I wanted you to be a writer.

DAVID You made me believe that I'm a writer.

MARIA I think that you are.

DAVID But I don't write.

MARIA That was my only chance. You were like my baby. I thought I would make you believe in yourself. . . .

DAVID I'm not a writer. You told me that I am.

MARIA I'm sorry.

DAVID What else? What was there in our past? Oh no, forget it, it doesn't matter. No, don't leave the room. Stay! Too much light. Where am I?

MARIA Don't scream at me! I don't remember. I'm sorry.

DAVID Where do you work?

MARIA You know, I work in the office. . . .

DAVID What office?

MARIA Just a regular office, like other offices. . . .

DAVID What do you do? What do you actually do?

MARIA David, stop it. I don't know what you want. Excuse me.

DAVID No. Don't go to the fridge. Don't drink anymore.

MARIA I need a drink. I need it. You know that I drink, don't you?

DAVID Show me your documents. Show me my papers! Give me a drink.

MARIA You can't drink.

DAVID Yes, you made it up! This is why we don't have friends. There's nothing from the past. Nobody visits us, and we don't go anywhere. . . .

MARIA I'm sorry. (She drinks.)

DAVID Why do you repeat it -- sorry, sorry?

MARIA (takes photos out of the album) I killed you. I killed you and myself. I did it. Don't let me remember it!

DAVID We are here, we are. . . .

MARIA We are dead. . . .

DAVID We are.

MARIA I'm sorry, David.

DAVID Me too.

(Pause. The sound of a plane, very loud. David is quiet. Both are looking up.)

MARIA (drops the family album) Too bad I have no children. They would keep us sane. Just two: a boy and a girl. They would grow and they would give you a sense of time.

DAVID We can't have children, you know.

MARIA A boy and a girl. . . .

DAVID I can't have a child when I don't understand my own self.

MARIA Perhaps you would if they could be around.

DAVID Don't say "they," it makes me feel horrible. As if I won't let them live. And I did it. I stopped them from coming to this world. Don't you understand that we all are murderers. Maybe the rest don't understand it but I do. Every time I think about it I realize that I committed a crime against nature. We're supposed to give birth, there is no reason why we shouldn't. We have to bring in as many as we can. We live such an abnormal life. Everything we do is twisted, wrong, ugly. Our artificial light, cars, phones, television. Do you understand that miracles are not for everyday use? We betrayed our own nature and must be punished. God have mercy on us!

MARIA We live. Why can't you forget it?

DAVID We don't live. You said it. It only looks like life.

MARIA I know your philosophy. I agree with you. I simply can't believe in it.

DAVID I don't believe it myself. I know I'm right but I couldn't make myself believe in it. We do not live. I know that. That's why we could go on without children. That's why we can fly the airplanes. . . .

MARIA I thought that you won't come back. . . . to your thoughts.

DAVID I know we made a deal. I remember. And I remember what I have to remember.

MARIA No, David. You are not here. Now you are more away from me than ever before. . . .

DAVID Yes, I'm David.

MARIA You know it, you believe that you are. . . .

DAVID Don't you see that it makes perfect sense? The resurrection. Nothing makes sense till I think of us as resurrected souls. It explains everything. I understand my life, life around me. I could be David. I could be many things. Don't drink anymore.

MARIA I'll be all right. I'm fine.

DAVID What are those empty frames for?

MARIA I bought them for our family pictures.

DAVID Why are they empty?

MARIA I don't have photos to put in.

DAVID What about our photographs?

MARIA Not those. The other ones. With our children.

DAVID Do we have children? (Pause.) Answer me!

MARIA Yes. Two, a boy and a girl. (Pause) Maybe more.

DAVID I don't remember them. Where are our children, Maria? Where are they?

MARIA They are dead. They died. That's why I don't have their photos.

DAVID I don't remember, I don't remember any children. I remember the river, the boat. You never told me that we had kids.

MARIA I didn't, I didn't want to upset you. . . .

DAVID What are you saying?

MARIA I didn't tell you because we didn't have them. We killed them. I didn't want to remember it.

DAVID What did you say? How did we kill them? I'm all right, you can tell me. I just want to know.

MARIA They weren't born.

DAVID What do you mean? Did you have abortions?

MARIA I didn't let them live. I sent them away. Please! Don't open me up, and don't look at me. I killed them and everything went wrong with you, because I took them away from you. Everything went wrong with me. Everything is wrong, Tom.

(Pause.)

DAVID Tom? Did you say "Tom"?

MARIA Yes, please, change your name. I beg you. I'd feel better.

(Pause.)

DAVID All right, sure, of course. . . . "Tom" is fine. I never understood my name. David? Like king David? Why? Why am I david? It's just a word.

MARIA Thank you. I knew that you would do it for me. Call me Mary. Tom and Mary. That's normal.

DAVID Mary? Good. But why "Tom"? Thomas? Like St. Thomas?

MARIA I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying. Tom? This is ridiculous! Tom! God, what's going on with me?

DAVID You will be fine. You let yourself go. Don't worry. I'm with you.

MARIA David. . . . I want to say. . . .

DAVID Don't say it. Please!

MARIA We shouldn't love each other. That's the real problem. If we wouldn't love each other then it wouldn't be a murder. It's wrong to love. Everybody should be alone. People are not suppose to love each other. I agree with you, you don't know how much I understand your ideas. What's it? Rain? Good. Now I can cry. Is it all right if I'd cry, David?

DAVID You are crying. It's all right.

MARIA Am I? Oh, yes, I am. Now I see. Why didn't you tell me? You must tell such important things. You must tell me everything.

DAVID You lie down here, on the sofa.

MARIA For a few minutes. Don't let me sleep. Talk to me. No matter what -- don't let me fall asleep. I'm afraid I won't wake up. No, I'm afraid that when I wake up you would be gone.

DAVID No, no, I will be here. Right here. (Pause.) Was it true? About the children. (Pause.) Mary?

MARIA Yes? I'm Mary. I'm not sleeping. I'm tired.

DAVID I think I remember.

MARIA Good.

DAVID This is not you.

MARIA I wouldn't drink anymore.

DAVID You're different. The whole thing is crazy. It feels as if I was talking to myself.

MARIA Do you really like to be me?

DAVID I like myself when I'm you. I see things differently, and I love him. (Pause.) Who are you?

MARIA I don't know. Who cares. It doesn't matter.

DAVID Your eyes are brown. You're dark. You know that you are dark? Darker than me. I don't remember you before. Before the stroke. (Pause.) You're not sleeping. You don't want to answer me. . . .

(MARIA gets up and leaves.)

DAVID Answer me! Come back! Don't lock the door! Do you hear me? (He goes to the bedroom door.) We made a deal! Maria! Mary! I don't remember you! I remember myself and you are not there.

(MARIA comes back in a white nurse uniform.)

DAVID What is this?

MARIA I'm working in a hospital. I'm a nurse. I have to go to work.

DAVID Why didn't you tell me this before?

MARIA I was afraid that you can recall everything. I'm not Russian, David. You're right. I knew you would see it one day. I'm black.

DAVID This is crazy. You're not black.

MARIA I'm light. My father was a white man.

DAVID I don't believe you! You aren't my wife? Where's she?

MARIA I don't know. I saw her only once. She came when you were in coma. And she left. I was assigned to you.

DAVID You make it all up. Why do you do it? To help me? It can't be true. You speak Russian.

MARIA No, I don't. You speak English, David. You forgot Russian. We speak English.

DAVID You mean I speak English all the time with you? Even now?

MARIA I'm sorry, David. You didn't have anyone. I too was alone, and I loved you. I thought it would be better for you.

DAVID I want to watch TV.

MARIA You never do. It makes you sick.

DAVID I need to know the news.

MARIA What news?

DAVID Doesn't matter. Any news. (Pause.) What else was there. Tell me. I don't care. Tell me everything.

MARIA I don't remember. Today is Sunday, no, Saturday. I don't want to see them, David.

DAVID To see whom?

MARIA The people. I want to be with you. Just you and me.

DAVID Please, take it off, the uniform. I can believe in it, just give me some time. It's a good story. I like it. Maybe, it's better, if you're an American. And black. It's easy to understand. If we are in America, it's natural. It makes sense. I'm David, or Tom. No, David. I came from Russia. I still like it. I think I was Russian. Before. We met at the hospital. You're a nurse. I had a stroke or something. I'm a man. If I'm David. This part about the children, I'm not so sure. I kind of understand it. We don't have children.

MARIA They're there, they're waiting for us. To break us apart. I don't want to. I don't know them. Oh God, the phone! (She unplugs it.) The door, the windows. It's them, they make me do it. (She runs to the bedroom).

(The sound of a plane.)

6. THE END

MARIA (returns from the bedroom) I have to do it now. Here's my keys. (She leaves the keys.)

DAVID I know the end of the story -- she leaves. And it hurts. You know it.

MARIA I won't be back, David. This time I won't be back.

DAVID Where's my book? Where did you put my manuscript? (Pause.) My book?

MARIA You have no book, David. You never wrote it.

(MARIA leaves.)

DAVID She will be back. She can't leave me. She always leaves and comes back. (Comes to the front door.) I know you are there. I know you are listening. But I can't open the door. Because if you are not there I won't be able to live. Please, answer me. I would do anything but don't you leave! Maria! It's me, David! Maria!

(MARIA appears from the bathroom -- in her robe, drunk.)

DAVID Come, come here, to me. Yes, be with me. We have to start it all over. We would move to some other place. We love each other, that's important. We know that we love each other. The rest could be changed. We're moving. Everything is ready. You sleep. Don't drink any more. You would get up and everything would be different. Everything would be wonderful. You would meet another man. And this man would be me. I'll be there for you. I'd change my name, "Tom" is a good name, just fine. You could be Mary if you like it. It doesn't matter. You are my life. I'd do anything for you. We love each other. Sleep, sleep.

(It's dark. Doorbell.)

DAVID No, I don't like it. This is stupid, vulgar. There must be something better than that. Why is she so plain? And the name! Maria? Stupid, so stupid. (He goes, opens the door. Nobody is there.) I wrote the book. Everything is in the book. If only I could find it and read, I would remember everything. (He comes back to the sofa, and strangles MARIA.) It's better. Now it's much better. (He takes her body away.)

(Doorbell. DAVID appears and opens the door. MARIA enters in her nurse uniform.)

MARIA I knew you're home.

DAVID (Kisses her) Are you tired?

MARIA No, just let me take a shower. (She goes to the bathroom.)

DAVID You're not real. You're in my mind.

MARIA (comes from the bedroom) You're crazy. You almost killed me! (She exits and slams the front door.)

DAVID Good bye. (He gets back in his wheelchair.)

MARIA'S VOICE (from the bathroom) Did anybody call me?

DAVID No, I'm fine. Could I come in? (No answer. He opens the bathroom door, enters.)

DAVID'S VOICE Where are you? Please, come back. Please. I need you. I have to have you back. . . .

MARIA (enters the front door) David, it's time. They're downstairs. (The bathroom door is closed. She knocks.) Here's everything you need, in the bag. . ..

DAVID (opens the bathroom door) Do you think this is funny? Do you think you can do it to me?

MARIA I don't have to do it. I'm not your wife anymore to arrange anything. . . .

DAVID Not my wife? What do you mean by that?

MARIA I divorced you. I told you that, but I don't want to remember. You don't want to remember anything. . . .

DAVID You can't do it to me!

MARIA Have it your way. The river and the boat. You saw it in the movie. Or on TV. (She exits.)

DAVID You can't do it to a man! You can't throw him from place to place! You can't leave me in the world where nothing makes sense and expect me to be sane. David! Where are you? Help me! I was a man. . . Help!

(Falls down. The stroke.)

MARIA'S VOICE David? Are you ready? I'm ready . . .

THE END

Film-North * Anatoly Antohin
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