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The Story of David Z (Part IV)

AFTERSHOCKS
(X-ray one act)

DAVID
MARY

Hospital. He is in bed, after a stroke. She, in nurse uniform, enters.

MARY Your supper.

DAVID Thank you. I remember you -- Mary?

MARY Yes. And you are David.

DAVID David? Do I remember my last name?

MARY You will. Give yourself time.

DAVID I don't remember my name. Is it David?

MARY They wrote it. "David Z." They have to write something.

DAVID David Z? Why "Z"?

MARY Doctor Zingerman wrote it. Zingerman -- Z. It's a good letter. Something for now, till you'll recall everything.

DAVID I try. I remember nothing.

MARY You can speak. Some people can't even speak after a stroke. You remember the language. It's a good sign.

DAVID How did they find me?

MARY The supper.

DAVID Where was I?

MARY In your apartment. Don't you remember your home?

DAVID I remember. But I am not sure. I think I remember you. I think I knew you. (Pause). Who are you? You are not a nurse...

MARY Excuse me. (Runs out).

(DAVID rings the bell. She comes back).

MARY They say you have to be careful. You have to avoid stress and you shouldn't pressure yourself. Little by little...

DAVID Why did you run away?

MARY I have other patients...

DAVID Are you a nurse?

MARY Of course. What do you think I am doing in the hospital?

DAVID Maria -- is it your real name? Where is your ID?

MARY I left it at the station. I was about to go home, my shift is over...

DAVID You are nervous. I can see it. Why are you nervous?

MARY I'm not. Why should I be nervous? You imagine things, David. You are tired. You get tired quickly...

DAVID I don't believe you. You know why? Because I remember the smell. Your smell, Mary. How could it be? Come near...

MARY You think that you remember. It's very common, normal... (He holds her hand). Let me go...

DAVID You know me too, don't you?

MARY No, this is not right...

DAVID Look at me. Look in my eyes... Yes, it's you. I remember. We were together. We were close...

MARY Please, please...

DAVID What is it, Mary? You have to tell me. Please...

MARY I can call a doctor for you. My hand...

(DAVID lets her go).

DAVID Take the tray away.

(She takes the tray).

DAVID You have a birth mark on your left breast.

(MARY puts the tray down).

DAVID And another one. Lift your shirt. It's there. On the side. Higher. Is it there? I know it's there. Don't lie to me!

MARY Yes, its' there.

DAVID How do I know it? You tell me.

MARY Did you tell it to them?

DAVID No. Amnesia is enough. I don't want them to diagnose me with schizophrenia. Take this stupid uniform off. Please.

(She takes her uniform off).

MARY I'm sorry. But I am a nurse. I brought you here, to the hospital. I didn't want you to remember. I thought it's better if you won't remember the past. The past was torturing you, that was the cause of your stroke, David. and I was a part of your past. I was wrong for you. But I didn't know how to end it. I couldn't leave you. I didn't know what to do, David. You were going down and could help you. I couldn't let you kill yourself, but you did it anyway... with this stroke...

DAVID I recognized you. The first thing I remembered after the stroke. But I wasn't sure. I knew it was you.

MARY I thought maybe you can start a new life. I thought it could be different, happier for you...

DAVID Just tell me. Leave the rest up to me.

MARY I can't. Not now. Not right away. But you remember... What do you remember?

DAVID Everything.

MARY Everything?

DAVID I said everything.

MARY Don't get excited.

DAVID I'm not. You asked what I remember. I said "everything." That's all.

MARY All right. You need to rest.

DAVID When did it happen? I mean what day is it today?

MARY You can get upset. They said that people get upset...

DAVID I won't. I'm not upset.

MARY You were in coma for a long time, David. We weren't sure that you will recover...

DAVID For how long?

MARY Oh, David!

DAVID We live in Queens. There is a tree across from the street. What is the street number? I don't remember...

MARY God, what should I do?

DAVID Come here. Let me hold you. You never cause me any grief, Mary. It has nothing to do with you. (Holds her). It's in me. Inside. I don't remember everything. I just feel it. I see some pictures, faces, places... But I am not sure where and when. I'm not even sure that they are mine. Help me.

MARY Why? you have such a good imagination. You are a writer. You can make yourself a different past, something you could be happy with. Something good and pleasant. Even without me, I don't have to be there. Something unusual, interesting and good to remember...

DAVID Zukerman.

MARY Why are you so stubborn, David? What do you want?

DAVID David Zukerman.

MARY Why do you have to go back? Why not to use this chance...

DAVID Zukerman. Is that the last name?

MARY No.

DAVID Yes, Zukerman.

MARY This is a Jewish last name.

DAVID I remember this name...

MARY I know what your last name is, it's not Zukerman.

DAVID What is your last name?

MARY Mann, with double "n"...

DAVID I don't believe you.

(MARY gives him her ID).

You changed it. Why did you change it?

MARY You think, you are the only one with the past? You think, I have nothing to run away from? No, you don't remember, David! You don't remember what was before. And I don't want to remember! Understand? Could you understand it? Can you?

DAVID Did you change the name?

MARY Yes, I did.

DAVID That's all what I asked. Thank you.

MARY I thought, maybe, he will fall in love with me again. That's what I thought. I knew that you will come back. I wanted to be near when you return...

DAVID And I remember you before Queens. In Russia.

MARY I never was in Russia...

DAVID We both came from Moscow...

MARY I've never been to Moscow...

DAVID You speak Russian...

MARY Do you speak Russian? Say something in Russian. Go ahead. I am listening. (Pause). You forgot it, did you? Good! Look, David. All I wanted for us was to be together. We were happy together. I remember it. That's all what I need. If you want us to be from Russia -- fine! Moscow -- great! Anything you want. I don't have my past, I erased it.

DAVID I can't. I have to have it.

MARY I burnt it all. The photos, letters, address books. Everything. I was so mad when it happened to you. I destroyed it all.

DAVID My parents are in Moscow.

MARY They died, David. They are dead.

DAVID I had a sister...

MARY She is not here, David.

DAVID I forgot her name... How could I forget her name?!

MARY She died in a car accident, David.

DAVID Something else. Something you don't know about me...

MARY I know everything about you. I know more about you then I ever will know about myself...

DAVID No, something nobody knows. I never told you this...

MARY They're ready to let you go home. We can go home. David...

DAVID I remember it. I did it...

MARY What did you do? I know everything you did and didn't do...

DAVID I just flipped the switch.

MARY What switch? David, are you making up stories again?

DAVID Just one flip of my finger. That's all. Than I left. Nothing happened. I walked out. As usual. I got on the bus. Everything was the same. Nobody knew anything. Only me.

MARY I knew it. Why do you have to do it, David?

DAVID Then I got on the train. I thought maybe nothing would happen, it's just a switch. I knew what I was doing but who knows; I could be wrong, couldn't I? Well, not only this switch. You have to do more. You have to change the conditions. It's to technical, it's not important. Once I figured it out I could do it any time, on any reactor. I knew that there's a loophole somewhere. There's no such thing as total security. Bullshit! There's always a way to break it. I thought of it and I figured it out. That's all. I got home. My assignment was over. Of course I expected that there will be no news or anything like that. And why should I care? I wanted to do it and I did. I knew that this thing could be done, I worked there, and I did it. Why not. I thought about it for a long time. You understand, it's a very complex system, there are too many components, protection and so on to shot the damn thing down. This was the trick -- to find where to touch the best, and I thought it through. It's easy, because the monster is too complex. You can drop a pin and the thing would explode. You have to know where to drop. I knew. Not a pin, it's just a figure of speech. I didn't drop any pins. You should watch it better, they could notice it. They didn't. But I didn't know it. So, I called. I couldn't wait. I shouldn't call but the whole story was on my mind and I needed to know for sure that I did it. I called and there was no answer. That's how I knew that I done it.

(Pause).

MARY You should take your medication.

DAVID You don't believe me?

MARY I don't know.

DAVID You don't know what?

MARY I don't know anything about it.

DAVID I just told you everything. What else do you need to know?

MARY You would get your blood pressure up.

DAVID The hell with it!

MARY So, that's the story?

DAVID Yes, now you understand. The rest you know.

MARY Why do you need to do it to yourself?

DAVID I just told you, didn't I?

MARY Why do you want to have it on your conscience?

DAVID I don't want to, I have it! I did it, understand?

MARY Maybe you thought about it...

DAVID Yes, I thought about it and I did it.

MARY It's not the same.

DAVID I remember it.

MARY We were in New York, not in Russia. We were here! You couldn't be in Chernoble, understand? You were here in queens! Understand? (Hits him). You are here, here! You were with me!

DAVID I see it in every detail. And I have no remorse. I wanted them all nothing but death. All of them!

MARY I'll show you the papers. The immigration papers. I have it. I'll prove it to you! You are not crazy! Do you understand?

DAVID Many of them died. Not all. I wanted them all to be dead.

MARY David, this is not your memories! not yours!

DAVID I thought it would be bigger. That was my good bye to the country...

MARY David, I'll get the doctor...

DAVID I didn't want to tell you. Why should I tell it to anybody? It's nobody's business. It's mine! Could I have something which is mine only?

MARY I'm yours...

DAVID No, we both were theirs. It was my chance to pay back.

MARY It can't be true, David. Why do you invent such horrors? Why?

DAVID You don't remember my trips down there? Don't lie!

MARY No!

DAVID Than you are not Maria! Writer! I was a nuclear physicist!..

MARY Yes, it was your first degree, David! Don't make me crazy! David! Please!

DAVID Aha! I told you! Don't lie to me! I remember! We moved to Moscow when I was twelve. They promoted my father. He wanted me to be an engineer. That's how I got to the special school...

MARY But not this story,David. This story you imagine!

DAVID I wanted to go back to this place. That's where everything took place. My childhood, when they broke me. When they crashed everything in me. Oh, yes, I remember! I remember how my mother cried leaving me at the day care. I was terrified and peed in my paints every time they mentioned my name. You should hear how they called me -- Zukerman! I would walk the whole day in stinking paints till my mother would get me after her work. She cried on the way home, I think she cried all day long, because she knew I am walking all day in my stinking paint. She never blamed me. She washed me in secret, so my father wouldn't know about it. And he would come home when I was in bed. He worked long hours and they sent him to Moscow. I haven't forgotten them. And I didn't forgive them! I went back to this stinking Ukraine. I had to.

MARY You didn't do it, David. You didn't...

DAVID I'm Zukerman! Man! Not Zuker-Ma! My father changed his first name, he thought that they would accept the Jew. Fool! He thought if he married a Russian woman, they would take him in! He thought the party would make him a communist instead of a Jew! What did he get? He got himself a son who hates his guts! Because he was one of them! He let them do it to me!

MARY David, it was so long ago...

DAVID What? It was yesterday! Don't you understand? It's right here! Now! In me...

MARY (cries) No, David. It's gone. They all are gone...

DAVID Because I killed them. As many as I could. As their children. Their grass, their land is poisoned, like them. That's what they deserved. That's what they are...

MARY You have to rest, you must sleep...

DAVID I tried to forget. I really tried. Who wants to remember the shit? Every day, every hour, every minute in their prison which they call "school"! Their faces, their stupid voices. They are stupid, Mary. You know how it hurts? The stupid life...

MARY I know. They are stupid. They are not here...

DAVID Not here? Who do you think this doctor Zingerman is? A Jew? No, he is one of them! He thinks that he learned English, got rid of his accent, and I wouldn't recognize him. He is from my class, Mary. The one who remembered all the stupid answers to their idiotic questions. Every time he walks in, I want to scream -- stop pretending! I know who you are! We can't get rid of them, Mary. They are everywhere!

MARY Am I one of them?

DAVID You accept them. You have surrendered.

MARY I thought I can help you.

DAVID I'm tired, Mary.

MARY I know. I'm trying, David. I was in your school too.

DAVID I know. I knew it when I saw you for the first time. It's in the eyes...

MARY I'm not as bright as you are. It's easy for me...

DAVID No, something else. Not that. You have something I don't have. Something important I miss...

MARY I love you. That's all.

DAVID I thought about it. It's not enough. Not for me. Maybe, I don't know how to love...

MARY Don't think too much. Sleep. You need rest. I want you to live. I don't want you to die again.

DAVID Don't go away.

MARY No, no, I won't.

DAVID I want to see you when I wake up...

MARY Yes, I'm with you...

DAVID What did you do to me? You gave me something...

MARY Sleep. I'm here. Take me into your dreams. Let's go home...

DAVID Come, come with me...

MARY Yes, I'm coming...

DAVID You see it? Do you see them...

MARY Yes, yes, I see...

(Pause).

VOICE Is he sleeping?

MARY Yes, he fell asleep.

VOICE Why are you doing it, Mary? He is crazy.

MARY No, doctor, he is not.

VOICE He doesn't remember who he is, he makes up new stories every day. Tomorrow he won't remember what he was today. You are not serious about taking him with you?

MARY I'm serious. He remembers, but this is the way he wants to live...

VOICE This is a bad idea, Mary. Why are you doing it?

(Pause).

MARY I love him. I'm his wife.

(She turns off the intercom and dims the light).

THE END

Anatoly Antohin
May 1997.

myplays

2009 Stage Directing Group

Film-North * Anatoly Antohin rate
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