2009 LUL
* 2008 -- BM updates (acting2 class)



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    One Act Fest

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    Stoppard Files

    ... postmodern topics in classes [including Pinter?]
    Exposition and Character Analysis [designing your role] in PM "scripts"

    Between Director and Playwright

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    comedy : C. Durang [Beyond Therapy] 2009 finals

    TOPICS: drama + comedy + postmodern + time + space + theory + BioMethod + objectives & obctacles + film + students + theatre w/anatoly +
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    Postmodernism in Theatre Theory directory -- filmplus.org/thr


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    ... Postmodern? What does it mean for actors?

    Directing class -- direct.vtheatre.net/pm


    film acting? and "actors"?

    EXPOSITION: how to establish PM (postmodern) conditions:

    act 1. scene 1 for biomechanics.vtheatre.net/2009 [ write your own stage directions = actor's text ]

    Act 1 Scene 1 [stage directions]

    Prudence: Hello

    Bruce: Hello

    Prudence: (referring to a newspaper in her hand- Daily News Miner): Are you the white male, thirty to thirty-five, 6í1Ē, blue eyes, whoís into rock music, movies, jogging, and quiet evenings at home?

    Bruce: Yes, I am.

    Prudence: Hi, Iím Prudence.

    Bruce: Iím Bruce.

    Prudence: Nice to meet you.

    Bruce: Wonít you sit down?

    Prudence: Thank you. (Sits.) As I said in my letter, Iíve never answered one of these ads before.

    Bruce: Me neither. I mean, I havenít put one in before.

    Prudence: But this time I figured, why not?

    Bruce: Right. Me too. (Pause) I hope Iím not too macho for you.

    Prudence: No. So far you seem wonderful.

    Bruce: You have lovely breast. Thatís the first thing I notice in a woman.

    Prudence: Thank you.

    Bruce: You have beautiful contact lenses.

    Prudence: Thank you. I like the timbre of your voice. Soft but firm.

    Bruce: Thanks. I like your voice.

    Prudence: Thank you. I love the smell of Brut youíre wearing.

    Bruce: Thank you. My male lover Bob gave it me.

    Prudence: What?

    Bruce: You remind me of him in a certain light.

    Prudence: What?

    Bruce: I swing both ways actually. Do you?

    Prudence: I donít know. I always insist on the lights being out.


    Bruce: Iím afraid Iíve upset you now.

    Prudence: No, itís nothing really. Itís just that I hate gay people.

    Bruce: Iím not gay. Iím bisexual. Thereís a difference.

    Prudence: I donít really know any bisexuals.

    Bruce: Children are all innately bisexual, you know. If you took a child to Platoís Retreat, heíd be attracted to both sexes.

    Prudence: I should imagine heíd be terrified.

    Bruce: Well, he might be, of course. Iíve never taken a child to Platoís Retreat.

    Prudence: I donít think they let you.

    Bruce: I donít really know any children. (Pause.) You have wonderful eyes. Theyíre so deep.

    Prudence: Thank you.

    Bruce: I feel like I want to take care of you.

    Prudence: I would like that. My favorite song is ďSomeone to Watch over Me.Ē

    Bruce: (sings softly) ďThereís a somebody Iím longing duh duhÖĒ

    Prudence: Yes. Thank you.

    Bruce: In some ways youíre like a little girl. And in some ways youíre like a woman.

    Prudence: How am I like a woman?

    Bruce: YouÖdress like a woman. You wear eye shadow like a woman.

    Prudence: youíre like a man. Youíre tall, you have to shave. I feel you could protect me.

    Bruce: Iím deeply emotional, I like to cry.

    Prudence: Oh I wouldnít like that.

    Bruce: But I like to cry.

    Prudence: I donít think men should cry unless something falls on them.

    Bruce: Thatís a kind of sexism. Men have been programmed not to show feeling.

    Prudence: Donít talk to me about sexism. Youíre the one who talked about my breasts the minute I sat down.

    Bruce: I feel like Iím going to cry now.

    Prudence: Why do you want to cry?

    Bruce: I feel you donít like me enough. I think youíre making eyes at the waiter.

    Prudence: I havenít even seen the waiter. (Bruce Cries) Please, donít cry. I donít know where to look. Please.

    Bruce: (stops crying after a bit) I feel better after that. You have a lovely mouth.

    Prudence: Thank you.

    Bruce: I can tell youíre very sensitive. I want you to have my children.

    Prudence: Thank you.

    Bruce: Do you feel ready to make a commitment?

    Prudence: I feel I need to get to know you better.

    Bruce: I feel we agree on all the issues. I feel that you like rock music, movies, jogging, and quiet evenings at home. I think you hate shallowness. I bet you never read People magazine

    Prudence: I do read it. I write for it.

    Bruce: I write for it too. Free-lance actually. I send in letters. They printed one of them.

    Prudence: Oh, what was it about?

    Bruce: I wanted to see Gary Gilmore executed on television.

    Prudence: Oh yes, I remember that one.

    Bruce: Did you identify with Jill Clayburgh in An Unmarried Women?

    Prudence: Uh, yes, I did.

    Bruce: Me too. We agree on everything. I want to cry again.

    Prudence: I donít like men to cry. I want them to be strong.

    Bruce: Youíd quite like Bob then.

    Prudence: Who?

    Bruce: You know.

    Prudence: Oh.

    Bruce: I feel Iím irritating you.

    Prudence: No. Itís just that itís hard to get to know someone. And the waiter never comes, and Iíd like to order.

    Bruce: Letís start all over again. Hello. My name is Bruce.

    Prudence: Hello.

    Bruce: Prudence. Thatís a lovely name.

    Prudence: Thank you.

    Bruce: Thatís a lovely dress.

    Prudence: Thank you. I like your necklace. It goes nicely with your chest hair.

    Bruce: Thank you. I like your nail polish.

    Prudence: I have it on my toes too.

    Bruce: Let me see. (She takes shoe off, puts foot on the table) I think itís wonderful you feel free enough with me to put your feet on the table.

    Prudence: I didnít put my feet on the table. I put one foot. I was hoping it might get the waiterís attention.

    Bruce: We agree on everything. Itís amazing. Iím going to cry again. (Weeps)

    Prudence: Please, youíre annoying me. (He continues to cry) What is the matter?

    Bruce: I feel youíre too dependent. I feel you want me to put up the storm windows. I feel you should do that.

    Prudence: I didnít say anything about storm windows.

    Bruce: Youíre right. Iím wrong. We agree.

    Prudence: What kind of childhood did you have?

    Bruce: Nuns. I was taught by nuns. They really ruined me. I donít believe in God anymore. I believe in bran cereal. It helps prevent rectal cancer.

    Prudence: Yes, I like bran cereal.

    Bruce: I want to marry you. I feel ready in my life to make a long-term commitment. Weíll live in Connecticut. Weíll have two cars. Bob will live over the garage. Everything will be wonderful.

    Prudence: I donít feel ready to make a long-term commitment to you. I think youíre insane. Iím going to go now.

    Bruce: Please donít go.

    Prudence: I donít think I should stay.

    Bruce: Donít go. They have a salad bar here.

    Prudence: Well, maybe for a little longer.

    Bruce: Youíre afraid of life, arenít you?

    Prudence: WellÖ

    Bruce: Your instinct is to run away. Youíre afraid of feeling, of emotion. Thatís wrong, Prudence, because then you have no passion. Did you see Equus? That doctor felt it was better to blind eight horses in a stable with a metal spike than to have no passion. (Holds his fork) In my life Iím not going to be afraid to blind the horses, Prudence.

    Prudence: You ought to become a veterinarian.

    Bruce: (very offended) Youíve missed the metaphor.

    Prudence: I havenít missed the metaphor. I made a joke.

    Bruce: You just totally missed the metaphor. I could never love someone who missed the metaphor.

    Prudence: Someone should have you committed.

    Bruce: Iím not the one afraid of commitment. You are.

    Prudence: Oh, dry up.

    Bruce: I was going to give you a fine dinner and then take you to see The Tree of Wooden Clogs and then home to my place for sexual intercourse, but now I think you should leave.

    Prudence: Youíre not rejecting me, buddy. Iím rejecting you. Youíre a real first-class idiot.

    Bruce: And youíre a castrating, frigid bitch!

    (She throws a glass of water in his face; he throws water back in her face. They sit there for a moment, spent of anger, wet.)

    Prudence: Absolutely nothing seems to get that waiterís attention does it?

    [Resolution, image]

    (Bruce shakes his heard ďnoĒ.)

    * other (six) scenes in class [acting/directing G-groups]


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    Chris Walken

    [ see direct.vtheatre.net pages ]

    An online course supplement * 2005-2006 Theatre UAF Season: Four Farces + One Funeral & Godot'06
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