Mikado scenes (comedy)
Organization of the book : SYNOPSIS
Why do we need a small scene between K. and Jo? (I cut it down).
We can skip this first "french scene" and go straight to Mayor and K. (Break it into sections first; the usual, exposition and etc.)
Other samples are on Acting page
And -- The Theatre of Don Juan: A Collection of Plays and Views, 1630-1963 by Oscar Mandel; University of Nebraska Press, 1963
One Act Fest
2004 & After
Main Stage UAF, original adaptaion 1991
ACT 2: Hotel "Golden Mud"
Scene I: American Hunger in Russia(Jo and Mister K, two beds, chairs)
K: Go there.
K: Down there, to the cafeteria. Tell them! Tell them to give me something to eat.
JO: What's the point? They said, no way. Period.
K: How dare they to refuse? I'm on credit!
JO: Exactly! That's why they want to call the police. "You with your American, they say, are the thieves, and your American is fake one. He will sit together with you, they said, in our jail very very soon."
K: They won't give me anything on credit and talk about a market economy! No transfer money by phone, no credit cards, no tickets, no planes, no trains, no phones! No nothing! And a poor American student must go on hungry in studying their rich Russian language! Communists! I have to eat something! Man must eat every day, money is another matter! Later, I said. My father will send me money from Fairbanks. May be he did send it already and I might receive them at any moment.
JO: "Later" I or you can die. Or both, or all of us. They could start building communism again or nuke your America. "Later" is time, not money. Later! You don't know Russia...
K: I love Russia, and you hate all Russian! You hate even your Russian name!
JO: Because I know them. That's why I don't want to know them. (Exits)
K: Food! They must! I'll go to the mayor! To the police!..
JO (returns): There are some people outside asking about you. Mayor and other officials...
K: About me? No, they have no right! I am an American! I will not go to jail! Tell them...
JO: No, thank you much, buddy. I am out of sight. Sorry and goodbye. (Exits)
K (after JO): Jo! George! Joseph!
(Door moves. Beds move. K runs around, packing)
Scene 2: Two Wrongs(K runs into MAYOR and DOB who enter, long pause)
MAYOR: How do you do, mister American?
MAYOR: Excuse me... It is my duty, as chief official of the town, to see to it that travelers suffer no inconveniences...
K (at first stammering a bit, but speaking loudly toward the end of the speech): It's not my fault. I'll... honest, I'll pay... They'll send money from home. (BOB peeks in from behind the door) Blame your Aeroflot, your rail road and bank system, your telecommunications, your government, not me! Why me? This is outrageous!
MAYOR (frightened): I'm very sorry. If you don't like here, may I suggest you accompany me to other lodgings...
K: What?! How dare you? By what right? I know what you mean! You cannot throw an American citizen in your jail! I'll write to Moscow, to Washington! I, I, I... Even if you came with your whole police department, I won't budge! I'll talk to the president! To all the presidents!
MAYOR: Sir, forgive me, I have a wife, little children...
K: What? Just because you have a wife and children, I must go to jail? Great!
MAYOR: My inexperience, sir, merely inexperience. Everything is just falling apart. The country, our moral principles and infrastructure. Plus the insufficiency of my income - my salary isn't enough for instant coffee and baby food. Desperation and confusion, confusion and desperation! Don't ruin our dreams! The economy needs your investment, people are working unemployed. Communists could come back any minute. Today I'm a mayor, tomorrow a party chief again! Just think what it does to my brains!
K: Why are you telling me about all that stuff? Your income is a very different matter, but you can't imprison me. No, you're not big enough for that! And I'll pay, only I don't have any cash on me now.
DOB (to Mayor): Oh, what a smoke screen! Millionaire - and has no money? He is testing us!
MAYOR: Money? Did you say - money? If you're in need of money or anything else, sir, I'm at your service. It is my civil and humanitarian duty to assist visitors to the town.
K: Really? You mean it? All right! Give, give me some money! (Taking the money, counting) Oh! Much, much obliged! I'll send dollars to you the minute I get home.
DOB (to Mayor): Praise the Lord! He took the dough. Now we are sailing!
K: Jo! (Jo enters) Settle with the hotel. (JO takes money, exits) That's Russia! Now I see that you are true Russian souls.
DOB (to MAYOR): You must be bolder, sir. He wants to stay undercover.
MAYOR (to DOB): Fine. We can bluff too, as if we don't know who he really is. (To K) Dob and me - Dob is the businessman, total democrat and city councilman - since we were in the neighborhood on an official trip, we made a point of stopping in to determine whether the guests are being treated properly according to the Christmas spirit. Some mayors may not concern themselves with the welfare of humanity, but I, I insist that a good reception be extended to all races, minorities and animals. Not only because my position demands it, not because of duty, sir, but also out of my democratic love for every mortal. But may I ask, sir, what parts are you from?
K: Alaska. I am on my way home from Moscow.
MAYOR: Alaska? Our next door neighbor! Excellent! I imagine you're traveling for your own pleasure, sir?
K: No, I am a graduate student. But my dad sent for me. The old man is upset because I haven't gotten anywhere with my studies in Russia. Well, I'd like to see him scrambling in Russian universities for a while.
DOB (to MAYOR): Just listen! A student! He's tough! He's even dragged in his old father!
K: My dad is stupid and stubborn as a log. I tell him straight to his face: I must travel! Go from one university to another! I want to see the world! To have my Ph.D. in everything. Why on earth should I waste my life in Alaska?
MAYOR: Very, very true, sir. What can be accomplished in the wilds? Our town, for instance; you spend sleepless nights doing your best for the nation, sacrificing everything, and as for reward - complains and insults. This room seems a bit damp?
K: Absolutely! And the management has turned off the light. I need to read, or to write my notes, and I cannot!
MAYOR: May I suggest, sir... Not being presumptuous, sir... I have an excellent room at home, but no, I fear the honor is too great. Don't' get angry, sir, believe me, in the simplicity of my heart I offered it.
K: On the contrary, by all means. I would much rather be in a Russian family than in this joint.
MAYOR: Oh how happy I am now! And my wife will be ecstatic! It has always been my way from my earliest childhood to put the Russian tradition of hospitality before everything, especially if my guest is a man of American culture, a professor! I'm not saying this to flatter you, no, I'm free from that vice, sir. Perhaps, you would like to see how things are running in our city... the management... (BOB pops his head in at the door) Our hospital, for example. Or we might proceed to the school and observe our methods of instruction in the sciences and foreign languages. Then you might wish to visit the city prison and the police station...
K: Police? The jail? I'd rather look at the hospital.
MAYOR: As you prefer, sir. (To DOB) We shall see how things will go after lunch and a couple bottles of vodka.
DOB runs to the door and hits BOB, who has been listening outside. All exclaim. BOB picks himself up)
It's really nothing, sir. After you, sir. (Shows K. out and follows him, scolds BOB) Just like you, constitutional anarchists! Couldn't you find a proper place to flop? (Goes out, BOB after him. The furniture moves in)
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