POV * Godot'06 *
Theory of Spectatorship aDiary + Film-North Album (new)
Intro & Prologue: this is the old page I made to help myself to feel this book. Only now, after I found the story in the SELF, I can work on POV again. In order to write about place without space you have to understand the existence of feelings without flesh. You have to know a little bit about death. You understand that ideas can exist with your body, now you have to learn about emotions of the machine.
That's how he feels. He has his feelings. You have to believe that, you have to understand that there are emotions in every big thought. A lot of them. If can see it, you will be able to follow two us. We have to go through many difficult places, the thoughts, in order to get to the next book. We need each other, we both know it. No, I am not talking about Lucifer and myself, I am talking about me and you, who read it. You believe in my existence, do you? I believe in yours. You see, now you make another step and see them, the spirits.
When you say "sex," Anatoly, you mean something else, don't you?
You see, in "Self" I didn't talk about the cosmic force of it, I need to be personal, but I knew that this metaphysical power is channeled through my mind and my body.
It's everywhere -- we see and we are charged with it.
That is what it means to be alive.
SummaryOf course, I knew it. Every time I had it (sex), I remembered the price. It's a common place to say "sex = death"... Alas, this is not the famous "death-wish"... What do you think all this businees about angels and priests is about?
Bad Subjects, Wrong Theories
It would be nice to give those texts proper web-form, but this is a job for an artist, not me, writer. Anatoly-artist is busy. I only hope that some day he can find the images and sound for POV pages.
Sex, Death & FilmYou, who travelled my sites, know about Film Pages and maybe about the Death theme, but there is another subject I was avoiding for long time -- Sex. I thought I could tell it all without touching the dangerous topic. I said "dangerous" because despite my Russian tradition of the "confessional" literature, I hide personal things. I don't have this American ability to talk about my sex life. I have never been to a single shrink and I don't think that I'm shy. I feel that every time I try to put it in words, I trivialize the matter. I watch TV discussions about sex with disbelief; I am not sure I know what they are talking about.
"You have to talk about it. How else can I learn from you?"
Lucifer was here, but it was dark and I couldn't see him, not even his eyes, only the voice.
"It is a pleasant death. I guess, death has to be pleasant. Not on this side, but after...."
"What did he tell you? He talked with you about it, right?"
"He said that I know it, I only do not know that I know it already. He said that I know everything. Christ said that I know more than he knows."
"I don't remember reading it."
"I can't write everything...."
"But you have to write the important things. This is important. If I can see death this way, I could feel what you feel with women...."
"You do not know death. That is the problem. Without it you can't feel what I feel. I know it and that is why I feel her."
He still is more comfortable with the darkness. I kind of understand it. It's not the sunlight, but the people, phone calls, things to do -- when you have no time to think. You see everything and this is so destructive. You do many things for nothing, the life is not edited, it's like the takes with a lot of useless footage. We need it, the darkness. At least once a day. And the silence.
Maybe I tell about the Second Death first. The final one, the death of a soul. Maybe than you will understand."I think that I can learn it, the death feeling. I didn't exist at some point, I should remember how it feels."
"Yes, if you can believe in it. I don't. I know it, but I do not think that I believe it, my body doesn't believe in it. You have no body."
"But this is what the Resurrection is for, right? I know that I will have some kind of body. Is this what you write in your next book about?"
"Yes, you have to have it, at least something like flesh and that is what Resurrection is for, because you guys are about go through the changes too. In fact, you will be the first ones. If you want to learn it, you have to feel what she feels."
I have to describe him for you, although I don't believe in descriptions. He looks like me. In fact, he looks exactly like me -- the same face, body, even the age.
If you are a woman, he looks like a woman and she looks like you. You can look in the mirror, or at your photographs to see what Lucifer looks like. You remember of course the tales about Devil and his ability to take on of any identity. Well, it's true.
Guide to POVBlind Bliss Pomo Lucifer Tabloids TimeProduction UnReal View Points WebFilm
PARA-PORN: Visual Culture of TV Commercials
Since this book (View Points) wasn't treated by author as a book, I don't know its anatomy. You can enter it through any chapter and I don't think I can give you much guidance. I wish I myself could see it. Although I suspect that so-called "flesh" is secondary to sex. Light and Time rule this kingdom. Unfortunatly, physics is still in the dark about the connection between light and time. In my ex-physicist opinion the Unified Field Theory, which Einstein couldn't crack, was missing one component... yes, you guessed it -- sex.
I had to quit physics, because, as you can see, an inclusion of this element was too radical. But I couldn't just insist on bringing in the big theory of "humans" as a part of cosmology; it was too abstract. Sex is something more concrete than "spirituality" -- sex is close to laws of nature; gravity, electricity, chemistry, thermodynamics and etc. Now in my old age I can afford insanity. So, I thought I would speak my mind.
Somehow this book is outside (maybe, above) my other projects, something for a sixty-year old mind. Perhaps I am not ready for it.
[ image: the distance keep growing.
First, the painting. 19th century -- photo, later -- cinema. The glass wall is now the screen! This is how the sexual desire progresses. The engine of all human events...
Flesh has to die in order to be resurrected. Mind has won -- and only then any "sexual revolution" is possible. Animals know gender, not sex. It took us over 25 centuries to develop sexuality (Read Foucault). If we indeed want to creat God, we better learn to see everything mortal. The Third Age will force all to learn it. Please, re-read Nietzsche, please, go beyond the Moral, go Aesthetics!
Oh, maybe you can finish it for me, Lucifer! ]
2005-2006 Theatre UAF Season: Four Farces + One Funeral & Godot'06
Film-North * Anatoly Antohin
© 2005 by vtheatre.net. Permission to link to this site is granted.
Anatoly XXI : writing blog 07